JennifeReally

That’s exactly what’s missing.

I don’t want to be over dramatic and say that we don’t love each other like we used too, but there is some lack of communication that once declared our love for one another. There is a lot of unspoken thoughts that fill the air when we’re together. When we are apart, we survive off of text messages every hour or more. I’m not asking for more because that is what the future is holding for us. I tell myself not to give up because what use would that do. Truthfully, I am unsatisfied with the way we have handled our relationship. There is no realness, truth or admiration between us. Either I’ve based this off of my imagination, or I’m just having a difficult time trying to make sense of everything.

We’re either lying to ourselves or we’re running away from the truth.

We don’t even sleep together the same anymore. It’s just like someone else is sleeping beside me. I don’t want to sound like a slut when I say this, but it wouldn’t hurt you every now and again to pretend like you want me. We used to be so attracted to each other and couldn’t keep our hands off one another. I’m seriously going through some shit. When I shouldn’t be. All should be great, right? My summer has been nothing but great adventures. Yet, why is it that I continue to feel this way. Just one of those drunken nights, I haven’t had a real one with you and you’re my boyfriend. Am I stupid for wanting to feel wanted by a boyfriend who would do anything for me? Possibly. But just because he’d go to the end of the earth and back for me, doesn’t mean that’s the only way you show your love or affection. Ah. Idk.

I only put up with so much, but I could see it in your eyes that you were sorry. I have no reason to be upset because you didn’t do anything. It’s the fact that you get afraid of my reaction that makes you lie, about the littlest things. It’s such an immature trait that you have. I’m not stupid and I will catch you in any lie, which I have. But the lies you tell are so little that it’s pathetic and shouldn’t be considered a lie. I forgive you because I know you’re innocent and your intentions remain true to me. It’s your worry that I will be upset and angry, but I’m just more upset and angry at you when I find out that you have lied. So from now on, no more chances. I do love you and I forgive you for a reason. Don’t mess up anymore. Or you’ll lose the best thing that has ever happened to you.